Let It Flow

"The love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us" (Romans 5:5)

As I read this verse this morning, I was convicted. The LORD God has shown me so great a love that He would pour forth His perfect, faithful, sacrificial love into my heart by the Holy Spirit. And as His love flows into me for my good, it should also flow out of me for His glory and the benefit of others. Yet so often I create a dam preventing His love from freely flowing out of me. This dam ultimately is about me - my sin. I withhold displaying the glory of God and His love by my selfishness, my self-focus, my own gain ... ME, ME, ME! What a tragedy!!

Part of our suffering in this world is dealing with our own sin. Lately, the LORD has taken me on a journey of facing my particular sins. It has disgusted me, knocked me down, and really broken me. Even in the midst of this valley, my Savior has guided me along a path with quiet streams and lush green meadows, for in crucifying my flesh, He is leading me in paths of righteousness. As you might imagine, there is a tension of great beauty and utter disgust in this journey.

Looking at this particular passage in Romans 5, we see that for those who have been justified by faith, God bestows not only complete forgiveness of our sins, but additional blessings of peace with Him (5:1), grace from Him (5:2), and hope through Him (5:2, 4). Paul reminds us then that we can rejoice in our sufferings because we will not be defeated by this path of pain, but we will be strengthened by it (5:3-5). So, brothers and sisters in Christ, let the love of God, poured into our hearts by the beautiful gift of His Spirit, flow freely into and out of us - for the glory of Christ alone! AMEN and AMEN!

Why NOT Me?

I have been wondering lately why others' suffering is beyond my own suffering. Frankly, I haven't been the recipient of much bad news. My grandparents have both dealt with serious illnesses in their old age (cancer and Alzheimers), and surely this has been difficult, but my grandfather is in remission with his cancer and my grandmother has had Alzheimers for over 10 years now, so, sadly, we are used to it. Within a week though, I have received grieving news about friends in three separate circumstances. One of my dear friends' aunt was in a terrible car accident. Declined quality of life seems inevitable if she even survives at all. I'm deeply saddened for my friend and her family. This is painful. Another dear and life-long friend shared the news the other day regarding her husband's job. Unrelated to the fact that business has been bad, his wrestlings with God brought him to quit his job with no prospects in sight. They are now living day to day trusting God to guide them to what's next. And finally, I discovered that there is a girl from my hometown church that is having a double mastectomy performed in two weeks. She is several years younger than me.

So why do these things not happen to me? Why am I living comfortably in my spacious home - husband has a good, stable job; there's an abundance of food on our table; my kids appear healthy and well; my marriage is okay; I'm able to exercise daily and perform all of my duties on the homefront; we have two functioning cars; our extended families are healthy and well - we have both sets of our parents still; etc. Why are these things not happening to me? Honestly, I have told God several times this week that I'm scared - I'm scared that He's going to allow something to happen to me. I've thought about what I would do if I were terminally ill or if I lost my husband and children. I think about these things all the time because the potential is real. I know suffering is part of the Christian life. Of course it may not be the kind of suffering I'm talking about here, but it may very well be. And I just keep waiting and wondering what today will bring. What tomorrow will bring. When?

I desire so deeply to know Jesus Christ more and more. I long for such an intimate relationship with Him. But I know that I must suffer to discover more of Him. Suffering brings Him glory, and isn't that what my life should be all about - giving God glory?

I shared some of this with Carl last night, and he reminded me that God may be using us in other ways. He has blessed us so richly so that we can bless others. So our giving (whatever that looks like) can also bring glory to Jesus. Those words encouraged me. And though I still have fear that I need to give over to God, I am excited about what He will call me and my family to do to bring Him glory.

Anyhow, if you're reading this, please pray for my friends mentioned above. My heart goes out to them and I'm praying for them. And consider how you might bless others to bring God glory.